Tuesday 25 August 2015

THE DIARY OF VICKY C - SATURDAY 8 AND SUNDAY 9 JULY 2000

Following weeks of dedicated training, a specially formulated diet and general abstinence from all things that are known to be unhealthy, 8 July dawned.  Not so much startling sunshine as general failure to commit on the part of the weather, meant that wet weather gear and suntan lotion as well as emergency rations were packed.  Under the leadership of Miss Long, Susan and I set off from Ashford (Middlesex) bound for Bradwell (Essex) – in a car.  We left, on schedule (almost), at 0700 hours and arrived at St Peter’s Chapel just after 0900.

We both jumped out of the car full of enthusiasm and didn’t yawn once as we prepared ourselves for a day’s strenuous walking (sorry, gentle strolling).  We had a quick look round St Peter’s Chapel, which I could quite understand being mistaken for a barn, and headed off to the sea wall, which we eventually located next to a vast expanse of mud and under about three feet of overgrowth.  Susan helpfully informed me that there are four hundred miles of sea wall in Essex, but that we didn’t have to walk them all that day as “we must leave some for tomorrow”; such a sensible girl.  We headed off towards Burnham-on-Crouch leaving Bradwell Power Station humming not so quietly behind us.  The weather was mild although the sky did look potentially threatening.  So we headed south, and then west and then south a bit more, followed by a small amount of easterly direction then a bit more southerly.  This, I hasten to add, was not due to our navigational skills (which are, by the way, outstanding), but more to do with the marshes, mudflats and general meandering of the sea wall.  No wonder there’s four hundred miles of it.

There weren’t many other walkers (apart from a group who could well have escaped from the local asylum), but we did see plenty of wildlife.  Experienced safari-goers as we both are, the adder I nearly trod on and the partridge and other birdlife (I can’t tell an oyster catcher from a whelk) we disturbed were much appreciated, although we were a little slow in taking advantage of these photo opportunities.  (Susan’s camera also makes so much noise, that each time she turned it on, another flock of probably very rare lesser spotted winged creatures were terrified into flight.)

We came across several unidentified concrete structures which we narrowed down to either being military defence or the world’s largest concrete nesting boxes; either way, they’re birdhouses now.  After seven hours’ gentle strolling with a few sit downs covering a grand total of 13.5 miles (that’s 21.6km in case she doesn’t finish the walk before Great Britain “goes metric”), we ambled into Burnham-on-Crouch.  We found our accommodation “Ye Olde White Harte Hotel” right on the quay side.  Purely by chance this also featured in the Good Pub Guide, so we did feel obliged to partake of a swift half (of vodka – don’t believe Susan when she tells you that she doesn’t have the energy or the inclination to go out drinking at the end of the day, it’s just not true!).

We collected the car from Bradwell and, after a much needed shower and a walk (yes, more walking) around Burnham, we had something to eat.  I eventually managed to drag Susan out of The Star at about 9.30 pm and we staggered back to the pub (I mean meagre accommodation).

Sunday did not look promising from a weather point of view, it was quite windy, but luckily the rain managed to wait until later in the day.   We walked west out of Burnham towards South Woodham Ferrers along the sea wall.  There were plenty of boats out and the path was much more well trodden and didn’t meander quite so much as the day before.  We made quite good time and Susan managed to control her “fear of cows”, which she assures me is a medical condition and not to be laughed at, as we strolled past some cattle which actually turned and fled as we approached.  Not that I took this personally, it’s a well known fact that two lone women wandering about on a Sunday morning can be a terrifying sight for even the most confident of livestock.

Due to precision timing that the military would be proud of, we arrived at the Ferry Boat Inn in North Fambridge at lunch time.  I managed to persuade Susan that perhaps it wouldn’t be a good idea to drink the bar dry before we continued and we just had a quick drink before it started to rain.  That was the end of the sea wall walking and we walked through the village on the lanes, eventually coming out on the main road heading into South Woodham Ferrers.  By this time, it was well and truly raining, although our naturally sunny dispositions remained intact.  It was roads all the way to the end, and I must say I prefer the random approach of the sea wall as opposed to the roundabouts of South Woodham Ferrers.  Eventually we reached the end of the road (quite literally) where we tried to formulate a plan to get Susan over the river without going further upstream or using mechanical means.  I think hijacking a rowing boat is probably the way to go, perhaps under cover of darkness for added effect.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the weekend and was very proud to inform my mother that we had covered a total of twenty-six miles.  She didn’t believe me of course, but that’s quite understandable as I’m not generally renowned for my activeness.  Although I cannot divulge the details of matters discussed during the stroll, I do feel that my life is now somewhat better planned, although there are some parties that really do need to be informed of their involvement.  Principally, the person who is going to donate vast sums of money to my worthy cause, my parents have considerable responsibilities and there’s a one other that really should be located at the earliest convenience.  And, no, I’m not telling you what his function is.

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